We are among the first generations, to see the average person live in ease. Recent generations grew up seeing families in big houses with nice furniture taking great vacations.
Young people don’t remember their parents’ struggle through new Marriages and tight incomes. They didn’t watch their parents confront one another, struggle, debate, disagree, get angry, calm down, and move on to finally find something worth loving in each other despite differences.
As a result, young people expect to live a certain lifestyle. They feel that by completing college, getting a job, or putting rings on their fingers, life should fall into place. They feel they are owed their expectations. Unrealistic expectations of how life will be with little to no preparedness on how to get through life’s struggles set a stage for the enslavement of failure and disappointment.
But young people aren’t the only ones suffering from this enslavement. Many women think that by marrying a certain man or reaching a certain milestone they are owed an expected lifestyle. Wives expect husbands to care for them in the same way women care. We give ourselves away and feel we are owed our loved ones in return.
When things tumble women are left heartbroken and confused like young people who don’t understand why life doesn’t meet expectations. Heartbreak and confusion can lead to women’s enslavement.
The Chains We Place Upon Ourselves
Our heaviest chains us are not those others place on us but those we place on ourselves. When we allow imagined hopes and dreams to be become expectations and demands, we feel cheated when life takes a different turn.
Failed hopes and dreams don’t have to lead to enslavement though. Failure can be freeing. Rather than being boxed in by imaginings, failure can kick open doors, allowing new light to shine and new people to enter. Failure can allow old stench to dissipate and negative people to exit. Failure can allow you to explore and old shut doors. Failure leads to freedom if you choose freedom!
The Price of Freedom
Freedom can be scary. When you come out of your box and there is no clear path, it is tempting to run back to comfort where demons are known.
Real Freedom is never easy. There are decisions to be made, pain and work to endure, and sacrifices to offer up.
A baby struggles to be free of the womb where she is safe and comfortable. She may not want to leave, but God pushes her out. She, as pure as they come, endures contractions pushing her to places she never wanted to go. Then she is hit with a blast of chilly air, bright light, and hands tugging her, gripping her, turning her over and around, spinning her dizzily as she is passed from doctor to mother. She is free of her mother’s womb but wonders why she’s been forced out. Freedom is the last thing on her mind.
Think of the soldier heading off to battle. Days before friends laugh mercilessly while bringing up old stories. He kisses his mother, his wife, his children, his dog goodbye then walks the tarmac, boards the plane, and hopes for one last glance. He wonders what awaits or avoids wondering about any of it. At the end of this flight he will emerge from his tin womb, his last safe place and go places he never wanted to go. He was free to sign up, but now he is free only to fight another day, protect the freedom of those left behind, and hope for a ride home on another warm, safe tin womb.
Think of the Freedom offered by Jesus as He died on the Cross. Think of who was freed when the Savior was not as expected and salvation others felt owed did not come to pass as they had imagined. Think of the enslavement that ended for those wailing by the Cross when the world became shrouded in darkness, the earth shook, and the veil was torn in two.
Think of the Light that came only to those who let go of expectations and feelings of being owed and began to understand their debt was paid instead.
How Do You Find Freedom?
When you build life on expectations and demands, even something that is God given like Marriage, is not freeing. Life becomes a breeding ground of disappointment as many submit to Satan’s trap of asking why this happened, how can I fix this, and how can I make another fulfill my expectations. Questions around expectations don’t free. They enslave.
To be free, you must set high goals while dropping all expectations other than the expectation of hard work and sacrifice. You must embrace what the baby staring wide eyed at her mother’s breast, the soldier returning home to a loving embrace, and those experiencing the truth behind the empty tomb all understand.
Freedom comes at a price.
To quit, to walk away, to take the easy way out is to exchange true freedom for a different enslavement.
The struggle for Freedom is real, but so are its promises. Set aside expectations and privilege. Push through in Love and Faith.
To US Military personnel and their families, I cannot thank you enough. I know my life, the lives of my boys, and the lives of my coaching clients would be very different without your service. If you or an immediate family member would like life coaching, please let me know. Military discounts are always available.
For help discovering your path to freedom, subscribe to this week’s newsletter or contact me about receiving your own life coaching!