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You find joy by using struggle to your advantage.  It is in the struggle uniquely designed for you, that you discover what you are capable of! It is in your particular struggle that you learn who you are and who you are created to be.  It is in your individual struggle that you discover your authentic self. It is in the Blessing of struggle that you come to know God's Grace.




That joy comes from embracing struggle because struggle is where you learn about who you are. Struggle is where you discover what you are capable of. Struggle is where you become who God created you to be.

But you have to be willing to push through. Don't run. Don't hide. Don't avoid. Don't deny. Embrace the gift of struggle and push through!

Struggle is part of life. It is unavoidable and undeniable. How we deal with struggle and what we gain from struggle is a direct result of how we are trained.

The world has gone soft, and today's training is sorely lacking.  The world tells us to take it easy, live like everyone else, be mediocre, embrace "good enough." It has stopped demanding more of us. It has weakened us when we need to stand strong. It has chosen anger over empowerment and traded in humility for dependency. It has exhalted victim status and attempted to crush heroism.

This is the effect of avoiding struggle.

I've been in the struggle too, and I've learned to use struggle to my advantage.

Struggle is where you grow in Grace and gain power over negativity, to challenge yourself to do things you never thought possible, and to become more of the authentic woman God created you to be.

We all struggle, but the outcome of our struggle is very different based on how we have been trained. No matter how old you are, how many times you've been knocked down, or your financial, marital, or social status, you can retrain. You can learn to own your struggle and make your struggle the Blessing that turns you into a more beautiful, more fearless version of yourself.

Don't believe it?

Begin by subscribing and receive my free eBook, 10 Questions Every Woman Must Ask, to see how the questions you have asked for years have shaped your thinking and how we can already begin to change that process by asking the right questions!





Let's Get Real!

Life isn't our Facebook facade.

Ours home aren't winning any Pinterest awards.

Instagram doesn't begin to tell the truth about who we are.

Sometimes we are a mess.

Sometimes life is beyond messy.

It's ugly. It's  hard. It's unfair. It's cruel.

Sometimes life can be a real and lasting struggle.

And that's okay!  What is not okay is...


  • pretending everything is fine
  • pretending you are good with who and where you are
  • pretending you are powerless to change


  • convincing yourself that where you are is where you are meant to be
  • telling yourself "it" will get better while doing nothing to make it better

having a victim mentality

  • wringing your hands in a woe-is-me manner
  • clinging to something that isn't real
  • refusing to rise after a fall

shirking responsibility

  • waiting for God or someone else to do hard work meant for you
  • making excuses
  • settling for "good enough" or giving up entirely

I Understand!

I've been in the struggle.

I've been abused, abandoned, overweight, unemployed, and broke - in more ways than one!

I get what struggle, real struggle, is.

I've learned the Blessing of struggle because I comprehend struggle!

Do You Comprehend Your Struggle?

Struggle doesn't come from relationships. It comes from feeling worthless.

Struggle doesn't come from finances. It comes from feeling powerless.

Struggle doesn't come from employment. It comes from feeling undervalued.

Struggle doesn't come from clutter. It comes from feeling overwhelmed.

Struggle doesn't come from weight. It comes from uncertainty of who you are.

Struggle can't be cured with a guru's quick "fix."

Struggle is no once and done event.

Each struggle is different, but it's feelings are the same:

Stress, Anxiety, Confusion, Fear, Overwhelm.

There is no quick three-step-to-bliss formula that conquers those kinds of demons.

Most women will try to avoid the struggle.

They will try to avoid the darkness.

They will close their eyes and pretend it doesn't exist.

And all the time, they will be doing one of two things...

  1. Playing on the edge of darkness where fear lurks powerfully.
  2. Living a shallow life

You are here because you know this but want different.

You have felt the struggle in you and surrounding you.

Part of you knows it's time to get real!

You're ready to go through struggle to what awaits on the other side, but you are hoping for a guide, a reason, someone to walk through the shadows with you.

That is where I come in.

I have been one of those women flirting on the edge of struggle.

I have been plunged into the struggle through my own choices and through no fault of my own.

You deal with struggle based on how you have been trained.

Most women are not well trained to rise to and use struggle.

They collapse. They become bitter. They blame. They seek shelter in any port.

They mistake their lack of training for inability and weakness or mistake the anger of modern feminism for empowerment.

They do not know how to rise and break free.

But I do!

I know how to rise to the challenge, walk through the fire, and come out the other side.

And I promise you...

What there is, is far better!

There, is Hope.

There, is Knowledge and Wisdom.

There, is Mercy.

There, is Freedom.

There, is Power.

There, is Faith.

There, is Strength and Courage.

There, is Love.

There, is YOU!


I’ve Been There. There is Hope!

Strahlen Grace Life Coaching

Struggle does not have to define you, but it does make you who you are.

How often have you struggled asking...

Why doesn't he love me?

Why do they treat me like this?

Why can't I do anything right?

Look Up!

Look Up!

How often have you struggled saying...

I'm overwhelmed and need to find balance.

My life is spinning out of control.

There must be a better way!

How often have you struggled and asked ...

Why doesn't he love me?

Why do they treat me like this?

Why am I so overwhelmed?

Why can't I do anything right?

How often have you struggled and said ...

I have too much to do and too little time!

I'm frazzled and need to find balance.

My life is spinning out of control.

There must be a better way!

How often have you struggled and thought ...

I need to let go, but I don't know how.

I want to have friends and be social.

I want my kids to see me laugh and have fun.

I tired of trying and wishing I was different.

How often have you struggled and swallowed fear and inadequacy ...

I want to love better.

I want to be loved better.

I want to love myself better!

I want to love God better and believe His plan for me.

I’ve Been There. There is Hope!

Laugh More!

We turn even minor struggles into negative self-talk we then internalize.

Rejection becomes "I'm worth-less"

Misunderstandings becomes "I'm stupid"

Indifference becomes "I'm unlovable"

Criticism becomes "I'm the problem"

Guilt becomes "It's my fault"

Blame becomes "I don't deserve better"

Fortune Telling becomes "I can't change."

Denial becomes "If only..."

Struggle should not define you; it should shape and grow you!


Your Struggle can be a Blessing! 

Struggle is inevitable. It comes in various forms from a variety of sources.

Abuse, divorce, unemployment, illness, injury, disillusionment, and other factors bring struggle. Parents, spouses, children, friends, and colleagues hand us struggle through no fault of our own. Sometimes we even permit strangers on the street and random events to cause us to struggle with our sense of self worth, belonging, and purpose. These struggles weigh us down. They are heavy yokes that keep us mired in the yuck of our lives.

We know struggle is inevitable, yet we spend days bemoaning our problems and finding excuses about why our struggle is more insurmountable than others'. Our time would be better spent if we acknowledged that everyone struggles and stopped assuming we should be any different. If we spent less time bemoaning our struggle and comparing our lives to lives of people we don't really know, we'd find our loads are more manageable and specifically designed for us.

Our view of struggle needs to change!

Struggle is always difficult, but it is not always a curse! It can be highly motivating! Struggle can move us away from toxic people and prompt us to make changes we wouldn't have considered. We were not created to struggle, but God allows our personalized struggles to shape us into who He hopes we choose to become. Struggle can be God's call to greatness!

Heaven knows we need heroes! God knows we need Saints. Neither is created through lives of ease and luxury. Since creation, humanity has been called to greatness through struggle.  The few who choose to achieve greatness are carved only as they rise to challenge. By your struggle, you are chosen. You were not created to be mediocre. You were designed for greatness, and struggle is often the path that takes you there!

Will you rise to your challenge?

You are here because you are looking for more than just survival. You are looking for a way to do more than escape your suffering. Your search for meaning and a better way is your internal call to action.

It is normal to be a little anxious, worried, or unsure, but you are probably also tired of the status quo and ex cited to do something new. You are tired of waking up every day and doing the same damn thing you did every countless yesterday while hoping for different results. You finally accept that what you've been doing is the very definition of insanity. You are tired of being crazy and are ready to do something crazy and hard, something few have the courage to do. You are ready to change your life!

Your search shows you are ready to move and find out what you are made of. It means you are tired of all the foo-foo, feel-good, girly fluff that does not push you to make changes. You are ready to become a warrior in the battle for your own life. You are ready to retrain your heart, body, mind, and soul. It means you are seeking to be a pilot in your life rather than a passenger in someone else's caboose. It means you are not looking to point fingers or whine or accuse in a femi-nazi, toxic male, poisoned BS version of womanhood. You are ready to do the hard work of getting real, with yourself, with others, with God.

Struggle defines who you will become. Decide to become inspiring!

Being inspirational is not a once and done thing. It is a commitment to do what is hard and then do it again better and harder every next day. It comes when you stop pretending to be content with a middling life. It begins with the decsion to stop talking about feeling restless, anxious, or subpar and start doing something real and focused to change. It begins by embracing the rise to challenge. You are ready to enjoy life and be content where you are without the futility of settling for average.

It means you will build the foundation of the rest of your life on rock rather than on sand from this day forward. It means you will accept no excuses from yourself or from others but will also be compassionate and merciful to all. It means you will accept, embrace, and seek responsibility. It means you will glory in the fact that struggle brings knowledge and a greater awareness about yourself and those around you. It means you will push yourself when you want to pamper yourself. It means you will pamper yourself to recover and push better at the first possible opportunity. Remeber no excuses! It means you will no longer cower in shame and fear but instead will bravely stand and shine!


Being inspirational means one achieves greatness, but today's world does not undestand what it means to be truly great!

Greatness means you chisel away the fat of your life and become the authentic woman God created you to be. When you live authentically, you have no need to prove greatness. Thanks be to God, you are great!

True greatness makes one humble. It allows a woman to gently view others with dignity and respect endowed to them by their Creator. Greatness means a woman is strong and exhibits control over her tongue and her emotions. It means she has Wisdom and the power of discernment to trust only the few who prove worthy.

Greatness allows a woman to love everyone in all circumstances without allowing everyone to pierce her heart. Greatness means being joyful where you are without being content with the status quo. Great women realize achieving their greatest goals and climbing their highest peaks will not bring lasting happiness. Great women accept that greatness does not come from accompishments. Greatness is achieved in the every day struggle and in loving yourself and your life where you are. Greatness is lived in joy of the every moment.

Greatness is inspiring!  What will you do with your greatness?

Struggle is inevitable. What you do with your struggle affects not only you but those around you. Ripple effects of your struggle reach unknown numbers of people and can last generations.

The question is now, what will you do with the gift of struggle? How will you view your struggle as uniquely designed to carve away your excess? Will you continue to beat yourself up or hide yourself away in shame and self-pity or will you rise and build yourself to the pont where others turn to you? Will you become the rock for someone else? Will you become the shelter someone turns to in the storm or will you be another vessel tossing about randomly in the waves?

At this point you are given a choice. A challenge has been issued. Most women won't make it this far. You have! Congratulate yourself, but don't be content to stop a step beyond average. The gamlet has been thrown down whether you wanted to be in the fight or not. Rise to your challenge. Decide that struggle does not competely suck. Get a little thrill out of knowing a life of ease never created memorable people. Be encouraged by the fact that you were chosen to bear this cross and be a hero and a Saint!

The choice is yours. I don't promise an easy walk-in-the-park and no one can do it for you. I don't believe in that. I believe you can rise to the challenge if you have three things...

  1. 1ed


How do you view your struggle?

Struggle is inevitable. You were not made to struggle, but your particular struggle was made just for you! 

Your struggle is unique. It is one no one can carry for you. It is something no one can understand exactly as you do. Your struggle may be similar to another's but circumstances, support systems (or lack of support systems) and other factors make your particular struggle as individual as you are.

That means your struggle can be a gift that opens the door to opportunity and allows you to be who you are meant to be. It forces you out of your comfort zone and allows you to become inspirational. Working through difficulties and overcoming challenges inspire others to do the same. Spouses, children, neighb

But there is a caveat to becoming inspirational.

You must choose to allow your struggle to make you inspirational. You must choose to use your struggle for good and for growth.

No one becomes inspirational through a life of ease. You become inspirational by choosing to do what is challenging. 

It is in struggle that you find courage to seek bluer skies.

It is in struggle that you learn how strong you can be.

It is in struggle that you learn the power of choosing to love.

Struggle can be seen as a curse to push you down or a challenge to lift you up.

The choice is yours.

Unfortunately, sometimes that choice is clouded. We have a hard time moving through what keeps us stuck. We can't see the goal line or the path that will take us through the forest. We see no pot of gold at the end of our struggle and the only light appears to be from an oncoming train. It seems impossible to break cycles and do tomorrow differently from today. 

That is less because of our individual abilities or our unique struggles and more because of how we have been trained. From the time we were conceived to the present day, we have been affected by our circumstances. People, places, and events have taught us many lessons. They have trained us in how to view what happens around us and our place in the world. 

In short, our life experiences have brought us to this point. They have also trained us in how to deal with the struggles we currently find ourslves in.

The good news is these are not innate, unchangeable lessons. You can begin retraining today. You can making better choices immediately. You can begin the path to discovering your power and you can begin living authentically.

By learning how to deal with struggle, you not only heal past wounds, you also learn to value difficulty and the growth that comes from those times. You learn to find peace in the storms and joy in all circumstances. You learn to see the value in struggle. You choose to use your struggle for growth.

And to your loved ones and even random sgtrangers you learn to be inspirational!

Struggle is inevitable. We all must deal with it in one form or another. The question is, will you choose to use your struggle for growth or will you choose to continue doing tomorrow what got you here today?

The choice is yours! 

Struggle comes from a variety of sources. We give parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, coworkers, and even random strangers and unfortunate events control over how we think about ourselves that defies logic.

If a friend spoke to us about the same insecurities we privately face, we would easily dispute them, yet we allow our secret fears and doubts to eat away at our psyches. Without realizing it, we allow ourselves to be fundamentally transformed piece by piece. Eventually we have given so many pieces of ourselves away that we can't define who we would be if we were whole.

We give our God-given power to choose who we want to be to those who have no idea who we are created to be.

This is not another criticism of you. It is merely an observation of your behavior that is a result of your training. The good news is you can, at any moment, begin to retrain yourself!

Like a military hero or an Olympic athlete, your ability to perform is based, in a large part, on how you are trained. While they attend boot camp and elite gyms, your training occurred in the home beginning before you were born and continuing to this very day. While they learned from Master drill seargents and internationally reknowned coaches, you learned from people who probably weren't much different from you. While they learned to be astute warriors and diligent competitors, you learned to love and be loved - or not. 

How you are trained matters. 

Training does not affect just our physical prowess. Mental toughness, gentleness of heart, spiritual well-being, and more are products of our training. If we want to discover love, find balance, and persevere, we must retrain ourselves. 

Our thoughts should not stem from how others thing about us.

There are people who have been treated horribly and go on to confidently do great things. 

The love you feel for yourself should be independent of how others feel about you, but how do you learn to love yourself when you have been so beaten down?

Retraining gives you actionable steps toward discovering who you were meant to be. "When you are who you are meant to be, you will," as Saint Catherine said, "set the world afire." It is in the blaze that you discover warmth and the ability to love yourself and therefore love others around you too. 

You may think negative feelings about yourself result from how others feel about you, but

You were made for Love!

Love starts with a decision.

Few people know how to change. Many know something is missing but can't identfy what that something is never mind figure out how to attain it. Many realize there is a disconnect between their desires and reality, but few can find the path to connect the two. Fewer still are willing to challenge the status quo in order to make needed changes when the opportunity presents itself.

Most continue doing today what they did yesterday while hoping tomorrow is different.

That's where you are already different from most people. You are already taking steps to learn how to retrain yourself to deal with struggle. You are already seeking leadership and like-minded community that will support you in where you want to go. You are already beginning to look at planks in your own eye so you can see more clearly tomorrow. 

You are already standing on the edge. 

Now, you must decide if you will jump, retreat, or continue teetering on the precipice. 

I hope you jump! 

I did and it has taken me far further than I'd ever imagined. Many others have jumped and been grateful for that jump too. 

Overcoming suffering and growing through struggle begins with a decision then moves to

We often think the first step to changing our feelings is changing our thoughts. This skips two very important steps. First, you need to decide to make a change. You can't be wishy washy or half-hearted. You have to take the first step. That doesn't mean you won't ever struggle with doubts. That's part of why making connections and being part of a community that is on a similar voyage with a common destination is so important. That is why your community must be built on a foundation of stone rather than sand. We will help build you up in those weak moments. And, hey don't worry - we all have them! Again, these weak moments are part of the struggle that chips away at who we are not to create who we are meant to be. 

Second step in learning to love yourself and your life is to act. Remember, the things you struggle with are most likely a result of your training. Training usually involves some sort of action. Think of the young military recruit entering Boot Camp. He thinks he knows what he is getting into, but until she actually goes through the day to day grunt work, she cannot learn to feel

Thoughts control feelings. Behavior  is a result of you accepting defeat one too many times. It is a result of you not making the decision to change. It is a result of you preferring the comfortable yuck to the frightening prospect of courageous growth.

But there is good news - you can retrain yourself! People do it all the time (I have a page full of videos of inspirational overcomers who started out no different from you!)

Struggle is where you become inspirational!

Struggle does not have to define you, but it does make you who you are.