Nobody gets married planning to divorce. No little girl dreams of being alone on Valentine’s Day, yet for many women, the cold, harsh reality is that they will be alone on Valentine’s Day.
Being alone on Valentine’s Day leaves women asking the wrong questions. They get caught in a cycle of asking the dreaded and unanswerable, “Why?” questions. Why questions go something like this:
“Why did he leave?”
“Why did I marry him in the first place?”
“Why didn’t God stop this break up?”
“Why wasn’t I good enough?”
The key to happiness this Valentine’s Day is to stop asking yourself “Why” questions. “Why” questions aren’t only unproductive, they are also unhealthy.
[tweetshare tweet=”‘Why?’ questions aren’t only unproductive, they are also unhealthy. #ValentinesDay #divorce #LifeCoach” username=”StrahlenGrace”]
So what can you do when those tacky teddy bear commercials pop up and your thoughts fly to bad places? What can you do when you picture your ex with his latest lover or when the devil on your shoulder tells you you’re the only one in the world alone this Valentine’s Day?
If you noticed the phrasing of my questions, you’re off to a good start. A good life coach knows “Why?” questions are backwards looking and often destructive while, “What?” questions are forward looking and constructive. “What?” questions make you think proactively. “What?” questions help you learn what can be done. “What?” questions push you to search for positive solutions.
In a nutshell, you need to ask yourself if you really want to spend your time and energy trying to figure out why things went wrong or do you want to spend them figuring out what you can do to make life better? If you want to keep analyzing, stick with the, “Why?” If you want to make life better, ask “What?”[tweetshare tweet=”Do you want to figure out why things went wrong or what you can do to make life better? #Valentine #divorceCoach ” username=”StrahlenGrace”]
Now that we’ve established why you need to ask “What?” questions, let’s see what else you can do to celebrate this Valentine’s Day! And since it’s Valentine’s Day, spread the love – tweet your favorite! 🙂
Celebrate Being Single God’s Way this Valentine’s Day:
- Begin a Blessings Book – Every day list at least three Blessings you’ve received. Thank God for them and seek to magnify those Blessings. Include funny stories, doodles, and photos too!
- Do Something – Reach out to people you’ve lost touch with. Catch up. Grab your Blessings Book for positive topics if the conversation becomes intense.
- Give of Yourself – We get discouraged when others aren’t available. Valentine’s Day is about Love. Love is about sacrifice and doing for others. [tweetshareinline tweet=”What can you do to stop waiting for True Love and start giving it?” username=”StrahlenGrace”]
- Surprise Someone – Surprise others with a homemade gift or some inexpensive Valentine balloons and a short note on their doorstep. Purposely drop by when they aren’t home or for quick, pressure-free drop offs. Spend the evening imagining their reactions!
- Value Yourself – When we give to the wrong people, we lose ourselves as made in the image and likeness of God. Value His creation of you. Light some candles. Smile at your reflection. Paint your toenails. [tweetshareinline tweet=”Be beautiful inside and out because you are worthy, not because someone else might notice!” username=”StrahlenGrace”]
- Pray for Others – Evil wants you to think you’re alone this Valentine’s Day, but there are many lonely people in this world. Instead of that depressing you, reach out to them in prayer. You may not know their names or who needs it, but God does. Let Him distribute your love. Visualize God hearing someone doing the same for you right now!
- [tweetshare tweet=”Make Yourself a Better Lover – Put down Cosmo and pick up the Beatitudes.” username=”StrahlenGrace”]
- Immerse Yourself in Scripture – Looking for someone to commiserate with your suffering? Head to Psalms. Looking for advice (and maybe a chuckle too)? Head to Proverbs. Looking for what True Love really is? Meditate on 1 Corinthians 13.
- Start a New Tradition – Steaks and specialty foods are on sale this week. Splurge and learn to cook something new. Invite single friends or dress up and set a fine table for your children. Let them know they are special and worthy and Loved. Let them know you believe in Love.
- You’re Not Alone – Satan wants you to believe you are alone, but Jesus came to earth as Man to show how much He Loves you and to unite with you in suffering as well as in Joy. He was betrayed by a kiss, stripped and humiliated, spit upon and crowned by thorns, beaten, bruised, and battered. He sweat blood in a garden, and alone He cried out to God in despair. [tweetshareinline tweet=”Jesus Thirsted, not for wine, but for your Love. Love Him & let Him Love You this #ValentinesDay.” username=”StrahlenGrace”] He is the one perfect Man and you are good enough for Him. He has said he will never leave or forsake you; He has sent the Holy Spirit to live within you, to warm your heart, and to fire up your soul and to be with you…even on Valentine’s Day.
You are not alone and you are Loved this Valentine’s Day!
That is worth celebrating!
Happy Valentine’s Day
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